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Because we have the power to choose, we can decide to be more self-aware and self-reflective, as to how we are currently living our lives and what principles, precepts, and ideas to live by.

There is a way of relating to experience that allows our unique individuality to unfold or manifest. By tuning in to our innermost feelings we come to a better understanding of who we are. This may be in the form of a still small voice that can easily be drowned out or ignored or a strong emotion such as excitement, compassion, inspiration or unease. Our ability to be self-aware, especially about how we feel about something can be very helpful. I tend to operate more on a kinesthetic or feelings level so when I am engaged in an activity, I can feel how I am doing in terms of feedback, results, etc, because of how it feels. If it feels right I know I am making progress. When buying a Shirt and Tie combination, the sales person may recommend a tie that doesn’t feel right to me so I opt for another tie that suits me. It could be said that that tie reflects how I want to express myself. The sales person may have the expertise about which Shirts and Ties go together but I need to be true to my feelings as well because they inform me about me. In the end, I am responsible for how I look and feel. Each of us has to find our own way.

When we step outside of ourselves and quietly observe what is happening without trying to change or interfere but to just watch and learn, we learn about our likes and dislikes, we learn about our habits and tendencies. This  kind of effort is needed to enhance and strengthen our ability to be self-aware. There are times when this is inappropriate because to do so would cause harm, like walking across the street and an on coming car is about to run us over. We need to get out of the way, we don’t have time to just watch. We can always reflect on what happened later.

The more we practice Self-awareness and Self-reflection the better we get at being self-aware and self-reflective, the more self-knowledge we have and the more Self-determined we become.

We have the freedom and power to choose. Yet there are times when we do not choose freely because of an addiction or habit. If we think of the power to choose as the space between what happens and what we do, the space can be large, small, something in-between or no space at all. When we react to what happens without deliberation or reflection, in a mechanical way, there is no space. If we can see what is happening but the body does its thing we can say there is at least a sliver of space. If we pause and decide what to do without reacting by mindfully accessing our options, then we can say that there is more space in-between what happens and how we respond.

For example, I am driving my car, we have a green light yet the car in front of me doesn’t move, I beep my horn before I see that the car is waiting for a person crossing the street within the cross walk, which is marked by parallel white lines, to cross the street. In this case, there is no space between what happens and my reaction. Using the same scenario I see the person in the cross walk but my hand moves before I can stop it. There is a sliver of space between what happens and my reaction. Finally, I notice the car in front of me has not moved, I look around and see the person in the cross walk and I wait for the car in front of me to move before I proceed. The space between what happens and my response is large enough for me to respond to the situation rather than to react without conscious deliberation.

We have free will some times and not at others yet the possibilities for having more free will are there for us, if we can train ourselves in ways that create more space between what we perceive and what we do about it.
Developing our ability to be self-aware creates more space between any stimulus and our response to it. Self-reflection helps as well because we can learn from the times we don’t seem to have free will and reflect on what happened versus what we want to happen and prepare to do it differently the next time.

We can view Free Will like a muscle in our body, and like any muscle, it gets stronger the more you exercise it. If you don’t exercise free will it loses its strength and becomes weaker. In other words the space in-between gets smaller and smaller until there is no space at all.